During the holiday season, we are often surrounded by family and friends with parties and festivities galore!  It’s a great opportunity to catch up on life with those we may not see all the time and hear about everyone’s latest and greatest.  But what happens when it’s your turn to share and you and your partner are in the midst of an infertility struggle?  Do you decide to pour your heart out or choose to keep this very personal matter private?

All we can say is that it just depends.  It depends on your personality.  Are you an open book or do you usually stay silent when going through a personal situation?  It depends on the people you are sharing your story with.  Will they be understanding or blow it off like it’s no big deal?  It depends on how you may feel after you open up.  Will you feel better after sharing your story or will you regret saying anything?

If you’re more of an open book, the holidays could present an excellent opportunity to discuss what you are going through.  More likely than not, your family members and close friends will be extremely understanding about your struggle to have children and will support you no matter what you decide to do.  Who knows, someone may have gone through a similar situation and could offer valuable advice or could end up being a tremendous part of your support system.  If nothing else comes out of it, at least people will stop asking “When am I going to get a holiday card with a baby on it?”

On the flip side, if you like to keep your personal business personal, there’s an argument for that as well.  You may feel funny divulging such personal information at a party or while sitting at the table for a family dinner.  If the right moment presents itself, then fine.  If it doesn’t, then that’s okay too.  You may even decide to put all infertility talk on the shelf and allow yourself to enjoy the holiday season without the stress of getting pregnant.  You and your partner could probably use a break and can re-focus on your infertility journey after the first of the year.

Whether you decide to tell or not to tell, it should be a mutual decision between you and your partner.  It won’t go over well if one of you opens up when the other wanted to keep things hush.  The last thing you need is to be arguing over the holidays, especially when it’s a time to relax and be merry!

From all of us at UNC Fertility, we wish you a very happy holiday season!